Case 4: The Perfect Ending

                There are always moments that stand out throughout every individual’s career. For some people it’s getting the most sales in a year, or winning the company softball game. Unlike most people, I am not very proud of my most memorable moment. I honestly wish I could forget it all together.

                I’ve dealt with many murders and suicides in my life, but the death of Jerry stuck out more than anyone. I’d been meeting with Jerry for regular psychological check-ups for a few weeks. When Jerry first started coming to his appointments he seemed very humbled and scared. Right off the bat he told me that he had just lost his job as a writer, and his fiancée left him. Immediately I knew he was most likely going to be suffering from depression. Everything in his life was spiraling downward. I could also tell by his appearance that he stopped taking care of himself. He couldn’t look me in the eye out of shame. His speech was very erratic and unemotional. Every single part of him screamed shame and sadness. Every part of him screamed depression.

                I started conversing with him and I asked a simple, but very important question.

“Where do you find happiness through this tough situation?”

                His answer was simple and straight forward. He loved and found happiness in writing stories. The more I talked to him the less and less we discussed anything else but making stories! Every time we meet it became a show and tell of what he had wrote the past week. Since he seemed to be happy I ended the sessions, thinking he was going to be ok.

                I had never been more wrong in my life. About 3 weeks after our last session Jerry came storming in yelling that he had made the perfect story. It was about his day at the zoo. He simply called it, “The Zoo Story.” He wanted me to help him write an ending to what he said was his masterpiece, but I said no. I asked him to please go home several times, but he started to became so desperate to talk that he eventually started getting angry and putting his hands on me. I had to call security to get him out of my office. That was the last time I saw Jerry alive.

                Two days later I got a call from the Chief, he said that they had a guy named Peter come in claiming that he had just helped somebody named Jerry commit his own suicide. I dropped my phone to the ground in disbelief. I felt guilty and disgusted, but I got over it quickly and headed back to work to interview Peter.

                I interviewed Peter and he told me about Jerry telling him a story called “The Zoo Story”. Peter said Jerry got upset when he thought Peter wasn’t acting interested. So Jerry pulled out a knife and handed it to Peter. Before Peter could even move Jerry thrust himself upon the knife and said these final words, “Thank you, Peter. I mean that, now; thank you very much.”

                I got a warrant and went to Jerry’s house. When I walked in all I saw was a single desk and chair with a bunch of paper on top. I walked over to the desk and in big bold letters on the front of the stack of papers were the words “The Zoo Story”. I flipped to the very back and read the last page. I was astonished by what I read. The last page read of the main character committing assisted suicide by knife. Jerry had ended his life the way he had ended his masterpiece. With what he thought was the perfect ending.

Case 3: Distrust, Disgust.

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             “Gertrude, you're denying it but you know in your heart I'm right. You know it's an unhealthy relationship.”, I said.

             “You don't know anything. There is nothing wrong with me. I am not that terrible of a person. Hes my son!”, Gertrude pleaded.

             “I'm sorry, but he has already admitted to it. Gertrude. . . just admit it. You are in an unhealthy relationship with your son Hamlet. It's no longer just motherly love. It's intimate love that you have for him, and he for you.”, I said regretfully.

              This was one of many discussions I had with Gertrude and Hamlet. I can honestly say that I've learned more from this one case than any other in my career. The three things prevalent throughout every interview and interrogation were denial, disgust, and disbelief. It wasn't simply two people interacting in a manner that was unethical. Now don't get me wrong, they were aware of what was going on, but only Hamlet knew of the extent it was going. Something in his mind made it okay for him to approach his mother in this way. It had to have been something significant to cause him to override his mind's normal values system. I put all my effort into finding out why this happened to him.

              From what I gathered, Hamlet was never very trusting in women. He always thought that most were untrustworthy and saw them as betraying. Of all the woman in his life, his mother disappointed him the most. He was extremely perplexed about why she got over his fathers death so quickly, and why she was already engaged to someone else. In his mind she didn't seem to care about her husband. He felt that she was completely fine with him being dead. The thought of loving someone else was impossible to him. Incidentally, he started having feelings for her. Instead of seeing her as his mom, he started seeing her as an equal and a confused woman. He started to sympathize with her, which in turn started the process of falling in love with her. Even though she disappointed him, she was really one of the only women to consistently be there for him, and take care of him. It may seem odd to most, as it should, but being a physiologist I was able to stay neutral and understanding through the whole situation and eventually helped Hamlet see that what he was feeling was wrong. As for Gertrude, she really couldn't get over the fact that she could possibly have feeling for her son. That alone helped her to get through the disgust of the situation.

              In the end Hamlet, Gertrude, and myself learned a good life lesson that we all need to remember and take to heart. Our brain is the decision making part of our body, but only our heart can determine whether something is morally right or not. “If you have a pure heart, then you will have a pure mind. Simple as that.” - Dr. Seize.